– A Story Told –


“May all your expectations be frustrated, may all your plans be thwarted, may all your desires be withered into nothingness, that you may experience the powerlessness and the poverty of a child and sing and dance in the love of God who is father, son, and spirit.”

– Larry Hein –

-A Story Told- A story is told of a young Jewish boy named Mordecai who had been dedicated to the Lord by His parents. Mordecai grew in age and in wisdom and also in grace but was rambunctious, loved the world, gulping down the days and dreaming through the nights. His parents sat him down and told him how important the word of God was. But when it came time for him to go to the synagogue and learn the Word of God, he would not leave the lakes he loved to swim in and the trees he loved to climb. Nothing could persuade him. But one day the great Rabbi visited the village and asked to be left alone with the boy. To leave their son alone with such a lion of a man terrified the parents, but they left him. He then picked up up the boy and held him silently against his heart. The next day the boy began going to the synagogue before going to to the woods and the lakes and the trees. And the word of God became one with the words of Mordecai and the trees and the lake. Mordecai grew up to become a great man who helped many people, and when they came to him he said ” i first learned the word of God when the great rabbi held me silently against His chest.” Heart spoke to heart.

This is not a scripture but it so perfectly describes the heart of God, i am personally so stirred by this as i am reminded of the story of John with Jesus. This very thing takes place. God as Jesus, is defined by the Council of Nicia as being co-equal and co-substantial to the father.. God from God, Light from Light, True God from True God, this God allows humanity to place its ear on his chest to hear his beating Heart. what was the result? John’s identity grew from being an Evangelist, or a prophet, or a disciple and even an apostle to becoming, “John the disciple that Jesus Loved.” an identity that has absolutely no value to anyone else other then Him and his Abba.

-Intentions of Intimacy- Intimacy in our modern expression of the house of God has become so distorted amongst the people that we have began to shout from the rooftops the great secrets whispered to us by the father. My question for you is this, does the father feel valued by you, are you personable with Him? or is he a means to your identity, not amongst the trinity, but before the people, has God in himself become a way toward acceptance by the people around you, or is His heart beat in the quiet of your room enough for you. Intimacy calls for a level of personal relationship which does not always necessarily have to be shared. For those of you who are married think of it this way, all of your spouse’s inner most secrets being shared to you in intimacy and vulnerability on display for the world to see and hear… God must feel so undervalued by us sometimes. Of course He has revelation for us to bring to others but it must come from intimacy not from a need to be seen or heard to be a man of wisdom…

“I have found a great wisdom test in the scriptures, in Proverbs it says : “A wise man saves souls.” full stop look to those who lead men to Jesus its a test many pastors and prophets may fail, however it is the core reason we have our message and if this is not fulfilled then some serious questions need to be asked…” -Johns revelation revealed-

What John had stumbled upon was the discovery of who he really was, this truth became to be one of the most simple truths in scripture and yet has become so complicated by men seeking for deeper revelation of this, John, well…. “He was “LOVED” – Simple, when we lay our head on the chest of God we find what greater truth than this. “We are LOVED.” I was recently asked at a home-group what my hopes are for the next season in my growth with the father. The reply that came from within my heart shocked even me, “i would like to bring redemption to my inner man the self that i hide from others, the me i inherently loath, because if i can bring grace and redemption to the me i don’t love then surely i will be able to love like Jesus loved the world.”

– What Loving Your True You May Achieve – If we are able to love ourselves and I mean our hidden self, bringing true love to the identity we even hide from our partners and friends, and redemption to this hiddenness, then we become truly free. (you are all aware as I am of your own hiddenness) Here lies the problem, its not that i am unaware of Gods all-knowing nature, i know full well he knows all there is to know about me. It is my lack of trust of my self and coming to terms with who i really am that stumps me, and better yet my inability whilst knowing my darkest thoughts and greatest faults, to even acknowledge for a second my entire life is a show, built on pride before men instead of vulnerability before God.

I ask you for a second, would you be ok with believing that about yourself? That God in his absolute wisdom would love the you that you loath. This in function seems to look like being a complete mess before people which takes a large amount of vulnerability. This word vulnerability seems to get thrown around a lot within the context of Christianity. Defined by the Greek dictionary as a willingness to be wounded, being vulnerable with people and with the father actually looks like giving people the trust to wound you beautifully. Trusting their heart for you so much that when it hurts they are allowed to submit the blow that brings you to your knees in submission toward God, This should never look like submitting to peoples purpose. It should in whole look like an action that shifts your identity even deeper to that which Christ has ordained you.. “LOVED.” Brennen addresses this hatred of self in his book, this is his synopsis.

“I have sinned out of my cowardly refusal – out of fear of rejection- to think, feel, act, respond, and live from my authentic self. We even refuse to be our true self with God – and then wonder why we struggle to have intimacy with Him.”

Intimacy in reality looks like a heap of mess and pain bought before Abba and finding redemption and accepted in the place of Lust, filthy language, anger, depression and so on, He wants it all. He wants it real and He wants it now. The creator and king of heaven is in suspense waiting for the real you to allow yourself the grace to meet the real Him..

Abba for those of us who decide to take the plunge in becoming the real them, i pray you place around them the necessary lovers of your heart to carry them through their innermost pain and darkness and find redemption in themselves, Abba we belong to you help us to become Living lovers of you and bring redemption to ourselves, our true self…. forgive me for my pride and my show and thank you for your patience. Your son Adam…

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